I cant help but feel sort of strange.

This last week, since last monday, has felt incredibly odd. Just sheer awkwardness around all of being here... at Lone Star College.

Not knowing anyone has never bothered me before, I mean, my whole life is full of moving, but theres this small unidentified desire that just puts me on edge... theres something about being alone, and i dont just mean relationships, in a new place that just changes my mood from content to earnest and seeking.

whatever it is, its making my stomach turn and twist. I feel so ripped and scattered inside.

Such constant warfare.

along with my workplace, a perpetual land of stumbling blocks.

I dont know what im looking for or why im looking in the first place.

-i have what i need already-

and yet i continue.