crazy sauce

This trip has been renovating my heart like none other. 

“..Inside me grows a man,

and he speaks with perfect diction, 

as he orders my eviction.. “ 

-Andrew Bird: Masterswarm, Noble Beast 

First, I guess I should tell you what ive been doing most of these days.    

I wake up in the morning around 7:15 every morning, shower(most of the time)   

and then have breakfast at 8 and usually leave around 9 to either 1. jerad’s Studio to teach recording techniques, guitar, music theory, and this week percussion 2. teach Choir at Nauyo Primary School. That has been amazing. Using the skills im learning in the real world. neat. After all of that, I usually get home sometime around 3 or 4pm.

on sundays, i go to church, play drums, sometimes get dragged into dancing in front of the whole church, who, being african, meaning that music and dance are not commonly known as being separate things, watch me make music and dance separate things. 

I usually have dinner every night around 7pm, soon followed by chasing the four kids that live in rooms near me. Our courtyard becomes a field to play tag in, in which to laugh at my accent or to just relax on a weaved plastic mat to which i just observe them interact together. punch here, kick there, “guey” over there which means loosely, “hey, listen here, see.” or “stop it!” or “listen!“ Then sometime around 9pm we watch kenyan news or something random, which really is just a filler until the 10 oclock ugandan news in luganda. Sometimes we get a translation, but its just fun watching even if you dont understand, Ugandan news is nothing like news in the US. Its centered around peoples daily lives rather than the state of the country, or economy, it mostly consist of fighting, crowds staring rather than helping whatever they stare at, community meetings, and pictures of police and polygamists all the same... occasionally, well, more like once a week, you see the ugandan president doing something. Good stuff, its a bit like local news just a whole country.

This part is interesting, this part where I try to explain to you the inner workings of my heart. There are so many things going on inside me. So many things churning. so much reconsidering, so many a call to repentance with a yearning heart. 

You see, us americans, we go to other places expecting to impact a population based on what we have planned -yet before I go on, this is not a revisiting of “things dont always go as planned,” a rant sure to make my ears bleed. In fact, it has to do with our plans in general. ok. just getting that out of the way... We go to different places in order to preach the word, so to say, yet rarely are the things we do within our rehearsed plan the most impacting factor for whoever we came for. What we do(action), what we say(words) can and do pierce hearts, yet more than what we do, God himself is the one who is to be credited through things we cannot see within culture we cant even begin to understand within a few years let alone a few weeks of experiencing a absolutely  different culture, and that includes understanding the different struggles, victories, and grievances of the individuals we interact with.

Its complicated to explain here, so without throwing up the crys of someones heart ill simply say that having a clearer picture of someone as one who youve interacted with before, when you come back, your coming effects the course of their life immensely. 

Because of this, because we write eternally on other peoples souls, Take their heart into consideration, do not think what what it is, and be gracious and full of mercy and let the Lord do the work. we may never know what goes on, but our goal is not to please ourselves with the work we do, nor is our job to please others, for we will receive our reward here on earth and it will surely fade into nothingness before long, instead, our goal is to please God. without recognition or reassurance. for what power is in an action motivated by a heart that only desires a gift? It IS however reassuring that our gifts that last forever will be stored forever in heaven. yet, we are workers in the kingdom and our tools are from God. He knows what we’re building, he knows what his tools do, who are we to say I have an idea? Who are we to say anything but yes Lord ill go here. Or the familiar, “here I am, Lord, send me.” 

from the sheep who is learning to relinquish my desire for justice for those who are against me, my ambition, my fleshly desire, may it all fade away until the only thing that is left is a desire to listen to the voice of God, through which I may be closer to my creator. 

-S-cottr-y