Pacing

So this morning I woke up at around 8 Am, and was actually quick to rise and start the day. I took a shower, made some toast, put on 105.7 khcb internet radio and caught the end of a sermon as it ran into the old folks music thereafter. I then proceeded to take my dog on a walk which, lately, has been a far slower process than maybe a year ago, she just doesn't run as fast anymore...

anyway.

Something is preventing me writing.

(after about 30 minuets of thinking, scoffing at myself, realizing that i was mentally pacing, distracted by things of less importance... well, just look down to the next line)

I spend so much time pacing. So much time thinking. And never after a few hours of worrying can i even do anything. This summer i have been cooped up in my own worry and in my own frustrations too blind to see the grace and power My Father in Heaven has already given me!

I spend all my time in prayer trying to overcome the temptations in front of me asking God to "Enable me to... ___" or "Strengthen me to... ___"

Its like i pace while im talking with God instead of just asking for forgiveness for my short comings and resting in the Spirit Of God.

I was reading in second peter the other day and came across this:

" ³His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. ⁴Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."

The Spirit Of God, the same Spirit Living inside all those who are God's Chlidren, has already enabled us! we just need to Start living Christ inside us aloud! He is in me.

I will finish this later... because i have to show up for work.

now that its a few days after i originally started to write, I've thought of a few things and God has opened up a dialogue within me to hear Him and i have been slowly been coming to that beautiful communication. For that relationship is so necessary and I long for it deeply. It's something you dont really realize until you have been deprived of it for even a short period of time.

People, Listen to the Spirit. Listen. Stop speaking. Stop pacing. just listen to His will. Listen and see how it works out in real life and take each day for what it is, a blessing from God, a time to spill out everything in our hearts to God in the most intimate way, or are you afraid to let those things be known?! God knows each and every movement of the wind, wether it be in the grass, up passing the top of a building, or brushing through our hair.

And there is no more fleeting and indecisive a force on this earth.

our thoughts and desires are like the wind, and these, not surprisingly, and no mystery to God.

Hiding anything From God is a useless endeavor! We, right now, are in his presence!

Therefore, Why continue to pace? Why continue to hide from living the real relationship we have with God? If he's here, lets talk to Him!! Lets acknowledge Him! This is no passive thing. This is no set of rules! This is not a religion game we play at church! we are the church! The body of Christ! We are to be known by everyone as Fools for Christ! Who apparently have a "relationship" that sets apart the tendencies and desires of one who knows and loves God from one who doesn't. We even have known to us the desires of God if the Spirit lives in us! (though God Chooses how much to reveal)

But in order to have any desires of God we must Learn what they are by talking to him. By listening. By living our lives, in our own settings and gifts, not anywhere outside the relationships and routines God has put us in for his good purpose, each hour in the presence of the Lord God Almighty.

From the sheep who paces far more than most people do; who, now, also has long enough hair to put in a pony tail,

Scottry~

New post coming soon...

I'v discovered that when i blog it really helps me, as it usually does with most people, to get things out, and that when i don't blog/ write/ create in general for long periods of time i feel extremely cramped and all strange feeling.

Although i think its a little bit deeper than just getting things out.

For me It has to do with Communication with God. He speaks through me and, regardless of wether other people see what i write, I am obligated to speak truth, and seek tact and watch what i write. Through this God reminds me and teaches me things. I feel like writing, whatever the medium may be (music, paper, a blog on the internet) is almost like prayer. in a strange sense. Though not the same. It's Communication with God. From His Spirit dwelling inside.

I think its because this is where we let go of what we have been holding on to during the day or even the week. So with that said, along side quiet times, probably after them, im going to try and blog.

From the sheep who has been unusually busy for the summer,

Scottry~

You know,

As Christians, we spend so much time creating a culture around us that we forget to just live our lives In Christ. We become intoxicated within the limits of our sterilized environment. Were we ever called to separate ourselves away from the rest of the world to become a "Holy Society" through which we dismiss peoples lives that are not like ours? Yet that "Holy Society" by day is something quite the opposite by night only to deny the guilt within us and pass it off like it didnt happen. Now, if we're part of this "Holy" club, this "Upright" light through which we look down upon the world, why are we so similar to the people we shun away? Is it not our job to be in loving communication with those people? Why did we stop noticing what kind of people Jesus hung out with?

there are soo many things that seem right and look to be right but are wrong. and its an easy trap to fall into. its hard not to be blinded, how do we know what's right? how do we figure out what to do?

And on the other hand, how do we know when we've gone too far, now being influenced by those not of Christ, in our endeavors to love people?

Maybe that can be answered by how much time We spend in reverent prayer or conscience study and application of the Living word under the supervision of a proper admonishing fellowship...

I must say that i am always fleeting, always wrong, stuck in the slough of my own folly, but if i listen to the Spirit of God inside me, I know what's right.

Sometimes, time moves backwards.

Im Starting to

break free from

this midnight i am in.

It's five A.M.

and the sun is approaching

with the first few rays

to break though the darkness.

Trying to break free from

this midnight i am in.

But do you find

that time moves backwards?

Trying to break free from

the temporary pleasures.

Do you find

that you don't belong?

Starting to break free from

the world that we live in.

Join the fight!

against our nature!

Patience

We are so quick to assume

A result of a lack of patience

For what is quick and easy we cling to

Yet how perfectly patient is God

Who is not bound by time

But created it for us in this world

Therefore

Since we do not own time

And because God is timeless

How much more patient should we be!

For so long as Love dwells inside us

the more patience we should demonstrate.

The Rich Man.

I was driving this morning to school, with the radio and cd player off. I almost dont listen to anything in the car anymore.

Anyway, i was remembering the story of the young rich man in one of the gospels(Matthew 19)

and i was thinking of ministry and the modern church and how its so easy to just let things happen without you and to just go about your business.

Do you ever find yourself in a strange situation where everything is bland? Have you ever wondered ever what ministry actually is?

This is something that i think the modern church has sort of morphed and shaped. its become a thing were people think its not their business being a minister. Its not a position of the higher authorities in some hierarchy of human religion, but rather the action that comes by seeking Christ.

When Christ died for our sins, and when the curtain in the Most Holy Place in the Temple was torn, all things that came in-between us when communicating to God, were no longer needed, and barriers no longer existed. Basically, When Christ died, we all became the priests through the blood of Christ teaching others by administering the Gospel of Jesus Christ. (which isnt to say that we intercede for anyone, but that the dependency of priests, Because they communicated with God for us, were no longer needed. They were the teachers, and now we-the Body of Christ, aka the Church- move into that spot.)

So heres the question: If we are all ministers, does that mean we all have to become pastors? Are pastors more special than we are?

No way, God has different plans for all of us. The reason some pastors( and i say some because a good amount really dont know more then we do... ) seem like they are soo far along in their walk is not because they are better than we are in some way(romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God") but that they actively seek God and actively minister to people. Key word being "Action." God wants us to actively pursue him and talk to others about him in our own special application and setting. (1st corinthians 12 "Spiritual Gifts")

Thats a freedom we have in Christ-the freedom to serve him in our own way.

In Matthew 19 we have the passage of the Young Rich man who really wanted to serve Christ and be apart of his ministry, but because he didnt want to give up the things that owned (like his probably big pile of gold and many Hummer chariots with not 4, but 5 horse power) he went back home saddened. (if you read the passage theres a whole lot more clarity)

he let those things interfere with the ministry he Could have done, and wanted to do.

Heres another question: Do you spend more time consumed in what you do, though it might not be "sinful," then with God?

We're ministers right? Then lets start ministering.

From the Sheep whose birthday is on sunday and is thankful for Discussions with his Shepherd in the car,

Scottry~~

I cant help but feel sort of strange.

This last week, since last monday, has felt incredibly odd. Just sheer awkwardness around all of being here... at Lone Star College.

Not knowing anyone has never bothered me before, I mean, my whole life is full of moving, but theres this small unidentified desire that just puts me on edge... theres something about being alone, and i dont just mean relationships, in a new place that just changes my mood from content to earnest and seeking.

whatever it is, its making my stomach turn and twist. I feel so ripped and scattered inside.

Such constant warfare.

along with my workplace, a perpetual land of stumbling blocks.

I dont know what im looking for or why im looking in the first place.

-i have what i need already-

and yet i continue.